Connie Torres (nee Pachecano)

San Antonio, TX

August 23, 2004

Elizabeth Vasquez

Palo Alto College

History 1302 - FALL 2004

Were you confused about the issue?
No not really but I thought to myself we had no business being there… I've never been a historian or a I don't care too much about politics… I am concerned about my country? Yes! But I really don't know how I felt about Vietnam I thought we had no business being there Who am I to judge our country

When did the Vietnam War first hit home to you?
When my son was wounded

So it didn't affect you when he went to war
Well yes but it was his decision. And he volunteered he was not drafted And I thought that by him volunteering it was his decision. I didn't very much like for him to have volunteered but that's what he wanted to do so I accepted it. I asked him "why," that he should finish school. "No. I want to go because I want to serve my country"

How did the kids react to Angels leaving?
They didn't say much because Nancy and Rafael who were the youngest one. They sort of respected him, obeyed him so they didn't say much you know. The fact that I had gotten married, I think they thought, like Angel said, I am leaving you in good hands." Meaning Charles.

Was life hard when you saw reports on television?
No. I didn't see anything on TV. If they had shown on television what they show right now what's going on in Iraq, I don't think I could have survived it. My son being out there, you know, I don't think I would have done well. You know, to me it really wasn't a war. My son was in the service and that was it. I had no idea how he was constantly in danger. When he wrote to me he didn't say much. So I had no idea. And I have some letters here that I know that I got from him even the last one that says not to worry. He said he was going to send me some boxes but there was no need for me to open them because in those boxes there were nothing but his clothes and his personal things just to leave them like that.

So he was already on his way back?
He was about to leave Vietnam because he had come on leave and he returned. The way I understand, he should either go back and finish his tour in Vietnam or stay here in the states for a year and then go back to Vietnam to finish his tour. But he decided to go back and finish his tour in Vietnam altogether so when he came back he wouldn't have to go back. Yes, it was no more than ten days that his tour was over when he got wounded. So the last letter he wrote to me was like, "I guess you know we got hit real bad Khe Sanh but don't worry I'm at the perimeter," And don't worry that's the safest I could be." And then a few days later I get the telegrams that tell me that he was wounded.

Did his letters ever mention any bad reports?
No, only that the last letter said that he was coming soon and that he was ok. And his car better be in good condition. But I really did mean about the car you know. Because the last time he was here on leave he had bought a new I think it was a 1965 Mustang no 67. And he had been sending me money every month saying this is for you this is for you. But I kept saving it. So when he came he said he wanted to buy a car and we went to see a used car. And I said well let's see how much it costs to buy one new. And he fell in love with the Mustang. He said, "but I don't have the money to buy that kind of car." "But I have saved all that money you sent I have saved it. I want you to use it for your new car." And he said, "you did mom!" He was so surprised I hadn't spent the money. So he was very proud of his car. So that why he says that all is well but if something were to happen to his car all "*** " is going to break loose. And that he really didn't know why they were there. Cause they didn't know who they were fighting against. One thing he did mention one time was there were they didn't know who they were fighting against. You know it might be a little kid and he was all carrying bombs that would explode them when they were near a camp, a US camp, or some of the soldiers might explodes and kill some of our men.

Did he think that the news was of what happened at Ka Sauhn was hitting your ears?
No, as a matter of fact when I received the telegram I said, "where in the world is this republic?" You know that my son got hurt. And I don't even know where this Republic of Vietnam is you know. But when that letter tells me that "I guess you already know that we got hit really bad and I understand too that Korea is getting a little jealous." Or something like that he says or "stirring up some dirt" or something like that being that Korea that we might be in that war too. We had already been there in Korea you know but I don't think that up to this day Korea isn't a friendly nation to us.

When was the first that you heard of your son's injuries?
About two days after it happened but then again there is a day difference in time so it must have been almost immediately that they let me know . A Marine officer came to my house to notify me of the injury.

Tell me about when the marine came to you
I wasn't there when he arrived. I approached my driveway I saw a car in the driveway. As I passed the hall I heard Nancy and Rafael and they were laughing and the reason they were laughing was for me not to be upset right away. Like Angel had said you there would be a Marine telling you what had happened to me if anything should happen to me. And when I saw it was a Marine right away I didn't know what kind of news he was going to give me you know.

How did you find out how he was doing?
They kept sending me telegram letting me know of his condition.

What happened after your last telegram?
And then I get the notice that he is being evacuated to Camp Drake Japan Then a few days later I get the invitational orders for me to go visit him in Japan

Was that in March?
No that was in Feb, it all happened in February.

So tell me about the invitational orders
That day I was happy because I had received the telegram that he was removed from the critical list. I just got home from visiting a family member. My neighbor called me and said that the American Red Cross was looking for me. And I said, "the American Red Cross, what do they want with me." I had no idea what they wanted. When I hung up there was a knock at the door and there were two marine officers there coming to tell me that he had given up and the government wanted me to try to change his mind, telling me that he's not fighting to recover to them he has given up. They wanted me to go be with him to see if he would change. I can't say I was happy but I was glad that I could be with him because I was told that he had no desire to keep on living, you know. He was just giving up. He wasn't fighting. I was glad they were giving me the opportunity to go visit him. So they asked me, "how soon can you get ready?" And I said, "I am ready."

Did they tell you that you needed to get your finances together?
No, not at that time. They asked me where were you born and I said Dallas Texas. They asked me if I had a birth certificate I said no. "Can we use your phone?", "Yes". They called Austin. They verified my information. They told them to wire information to Treasure Island After they got all that straightened out, I told them about the American Red Cross . They were trying to get a hold of me and they (the Marines) told me they probably wanted to help you with your...because you have to have your plane fare from here to California in order for us to keep on helping me to get to Japan. And when they told me that I didn't know where I was going to get the money because in those days times were hard it was like we were experiencing the depression not like the one in the 1930's but was sort of a depression you know. So I accepted that the American Red cross would help me with my fare to California. How I got the tickets I don't know because the marine officers I don't know if they got the ticket all I remember was they told me be at the airport at nine o'clock and that was February the 17th and I flew to San Francisco when I got to San Francisco through the intercom they said there was someone waiting for me at the door and I thought that perhaps it might be my sister that were living in California and my brother and to my surprise no when I said I was Connie Torres there was a lady and I don't know if it was a marine or navy but it was someone from the government and there was a regular car picked me up they took me to Treasure Island and then they took me to get my pictures at three o'clock I had an appointment at the State building to be opened. We went in there but there was nobody there because it was Sunday and everybody was off. And they opened that building for me to get my passport. And they gave me my passport then the lady took me for dinner I think she was from Family Service. If it hadn't been for them I don't know what I would have done, you know. Get to San Francisco get a taxi. And what? ...And so those people are volunteers to help somebody in my case. And by this time it was already dark when she took me to the airport and she took me to the section that is called protocol something like that. I understand it was something like the service man say for the "high brass," you know, generals, captains, lieutenants. It was a very nice area and they sent me to a chair, like a recliner and I fell asleep because I was so tired. And all night Saturday I had to get ready with my clothes. They told me more or less what to take like hoods and heavy clothes because it was winter and Japan was very cold. So I was asleep and the plane was supposed to take off at 12 o'clock from San Francisco at midnight so I was asleep when I hear, "Mrs. Torres, Mrs. Torres. It's time for you to board the plane." So you know I got up and I was the first one to get on the plane. And I was always the first one to board and there was always someone looking after me you know they didn't, "just board the plane and then be on your own." No no they took very good care of me that is one thing that I can say So I boarded the plane and we flew from San Francisco to Anchorage and Fairbanks and then from there we landed in Japan and I lost a day. I left here February 18 and I was there it was the 20th and I lost the 19th I don't know what happened that day (chuckles). And it was a Tuesday. And we crossed the equator (meridian) you know where one side is day and the other side is night that was an experience.

How did you feel once in Japan?
When I got to Japan I was kind of scared. Ok there was somebody waiting for me when I got to Japan and they took me to where Angel was and it was quite a ride it wasn't like in five minutes you were there and all the time I was sitting in the car knowing I was in Japan I kind of feel fear scared I don't know because my mind went back to World War II when somebody from Japan was in Washington DC and talking to President Roosevelt about peace and all this while Pearl Harbor was being bombed by Japanese planes. And I said, "what if this happens again?" Little did I know that Japan was being occupied by the U.S. The Government is there but still at that point it came back to my mind as a teenager in high school when Pearl Harbor. So that kind of left something in me that I was scared of the Japanese people. Cause I didn't trust them. But little did I know that the government was still there

Did you encounter Japanese people?
Yes, at the hospital. Very nice, very polite. However, I did experience the fact that they would have demonstration and they would go around the walls. And I don't remember if they were brick or concrete but I remember that it was surrounded by walls. And the people would come with lighted torches and they would throw them over and they would holler, "Yankees take your hospital! Yankees go home! Yankees you are not welcomed!" You know, things like that and we couldn't get out of the base. I say it was a base because the hospital was in the base and everything was there for the military personnel. You know it kind of scared me too because where would they do things like that but you know there were a lot of Japanese that were working there in the hospital they were cafeteria the cleaning people those were Japanese people. And the people that I met in the hospital they were very nice people and even the medics and the nurses they were from here so they were nice. I had never met such good people so nice. That they care for you. They cared for how I was doing. Maybe because it was under the circumstances that I was there. I don't know. But that is one thing that I could say is, the government treated me very, very nice. The best treatment I could have ever had. More than if I had paid. And it didn't cost me one penny

What happened when you entered the hospital for the first time?
When I got to the hospital they didn't let me see my son until I spoke with his doctor. When the doctor approached me he was very polite when he talked to me. But that's one thing they have they don't lie to you and they tell you how it is whether it's going to hurt you or no. What he told me was your son was in very bad shape we don't expect for him to survive. And I said, "Oh! Who says that? He says, "I'm his doctor." I said, "No. That is not what his doctor told me." He asked me, "What doctor are you talking about?" I said, "the doctor of doctors, the lord of lords, King of kings, that's who I'm talking about." And he looked at me like I was crazy. And I said to myself "Well so!...I am so!"(laugh)

He took me to see my son. When I was walking to see my son, the hospital was more like big barracks. It was not really a hospital although they called it but it was more like big barracks. It wasn't like the hospital here like BAMC no. It was barracks and I was walking and I really couldn't tell you how many boys were there. There were beds all over, one after another, one after another. And as we were walking I would see somebody and think it was my son. And I expected to see him sitting. So I thought when I saw all of these boys every one seem to be my son to me "That's him. That's him. That's him. Little did I know that when I approached him he was nowhere near these other ones. When I saw him it was a shock to me to see him with all of those machines all over his body. And to me it seem like from his waist up to his neck was like a map of all the incisions that he had to have to cure him. So I was real shocked, when I saw him they way he was. It was something I didn't expect I don't know what I expected to see when I saw him but not that. And then when he saw me he started to cry and said why did you come "Why did you come mom I didn't want you to see me like this." "Because," I said, "I have to be with you." And I said it real strong because the doctor told me please don't cry when you see him and I held my emotions my tears I held them. You know it was hard for me. "And thank God thank the lord that they gave me the opportunity to come and be with you." He said, "you know the doctor said that uh I am not going to survive but they're crazy. And I going to show them that I am getting out of this." I said, "that's the way to talk mi hijo. But you have to remember you have to pray a lot, a lot for you to overcome or to get out of this." It was totally contrary to what the doctors had told me. The doctors had told me that he had no will he wasn't fighting he was giving up. And he told me the contrary. Now I don't know if when he saw me like the doctors had said, "maybe he sees you maybe you help him change his mind." I don't know but that's what he told me. Well then he told me to read something to him from the bible. I looked up Psalm 23. But I couldn't you know I started crying even though the doctors told me not to I couldn't help but start crying but later on I could read to him but there wasn't even a chair! I stood on my feet twelve hours seven days a week almost. And when I got tired I was like this. (Motions she was standing with her torso laying across the bed.)

Was there any close calls while he was in the hospital?
There was several time when he was rushed to the operating room. It was not like an operating room but that's what they did. Like the time that he couldn't breathe they had to open the track (pointing to her throat) so that he could start breathing. So for several days I had to press it right here (pointing to her throat) so his voice could come out. Because he couldn't use his hands at all.

Do you remember when they finally gave you the release to come back home
We got here April the Sunday after the Saturday that the Hemisfair plaza opened, it was in, it was supposed to be the world's fair. As a matter of fact I found that my brother from California was here he thought I was back that we were back and he did not know we had not yet come. To see us and for the world fair so I remember it was in April but I don't remember the date. They told us on a certain date he'll be able to travel so at the flight home was an experience because I had never flown in a government plane. And they're not finished inside. It was metal. Just metal the metal of the plane and you can hear the wind and you can the shaking and the moving because of the air up there. And he came as a liter patient. That means that he was not sitting and there were several seats in front of the airplane and there were rows of service men that were wounded and couldn't be sitting because they were not well. And one of the medics came to me where I was sitting and asked me how I was doing because Angel kept asking him to check up on me. in the front and like I said they always was the first to board from anywhere I was the first one to get on.

Did the doctors give you any discharge notes or advice?
They said he was ready to go they told me he was ready to fly yet it's going to take him a lot of time and it was going to take him a lot of physical therapy and he's going straight to BAMC and they also recommended that if I could somehow live closed to the hospital they recommended so by the grace of God we found a house almost just around the corner from (BAMC) and it was by the grace of God because I didn't know whether it was going to be possible or not you know. We still did not own a home were renting when we moved from there so all I had to was find a house and we found that one off of New Braunfels and South Grayson of course New Braunfels is the entrance to Fort Sam Houston which was where the BAMC was there at that time. So we moved and he would call me or someone would call me and say he would want to come and to the house. but then he would get frustrated because he couldn't do anything with his hands. So I had to take him back and then I understood why I had to be so close to the hospital. Because he would be there only a few minutes or a few hours and then he wanted to come home and I was the only one home. Nancy and Ralf were at school and Carlos was working. I also had to quit working. So I had to stay home and would go pick him up when he wanted to go home he would call me or someone would call because he couldn't use his hands at all so would only stay a few minutes and then it would go like that you know back and forth back and forth. Now he would stay longer when Nancy and Rafael were here because if he wanted to go to the bathroom Rafael would take him and he would never let me take him.

When you came back to the States was there any anti war sentiment that you saw when you arrived?
I had never seen any demonstration in the states. I think the difference is that I am a church goer and we think different that the others I think that that is the reason why. And like I said I wasn't working so the only people that I saw was my family and they were not against it or for it and I never did hear anything As far as I know when he went out with his father they would treat him very nice very nice. I could say I never seen any demonstrations here not here. But I think the reason was that I was never out there in the public so.

From the moment that uncle angel said that he wanted to enlist to the time he was able to leave your home and care what do you think you learned from that whole experience that you would think would benefit someone else?
I would say that it is hard for a mother you know when the country is not in war in peace it does not affect you that much because you say, "my son is in the service but he is not war and not fighting." But when your son is fighting that is when I think that's the saddest thing about wars. Cause you don't know. Like right now in Iraq. I feel for the mothers that have sons there. They don't know. They don't know if tomorrow somebody is going to be knocking on their door, you know. To tell them they lost a son. And when he wrote me one of the letters when he was in training (chuckles)he said "Mom why did you let me join the service" you know what I answered because it didn't matter what I said you were set in going to serve you country and no matter what I said you would have done otherwise." And he is very proud and so am I that he served his country and regardless of how he came. He is still alive and thank God. But he always says a "Marine is always a Marine." How does it go? The few the proud the Marine. I am glad he is glad that he served well and that's about all. But the wars cannot be stopped we have to go through it because they are predicted and were seeing that everything is coming like it was predicted. So no matter what we do this has to happen. Prophesies are being fulfilled so and it doesn't matter who is president. But I feel sorry of the mothers because their sons not knowing the future, not knowing what is going to happen tomorrow, not knowing if they are going to fall, if they are going to come back, how they are going to comeback. But like I said I am happy for my son. I don't know what I would feel like if one of my grandsons or nephews were to go to war again I think as a mother and grandmother I've already done my part for this nation as far as giving my son.

"Japan." The World FactBook. http://www.cia.gov/cia/publications/factbook/geos/ja.html (2004) A CIA View of Japan.

"U.S. Marines in Vietnam: 1954-1975" United States Marine Corps History and Museums Division. http://hqinet001.hqmc.usmc.mil/HD/Historical/Frequently_Requested/Vietnam_1954-1975.htm (2004) Overview of Marine involvement in the Vietnam War.

"History of the Mustang : 1967 Ford Mustang" AllFordMustangs.Com. http://www.allfordmustangs.com/Detailed/140.shtml (2004) A look into the Mustang possibly purchased by Angel Vasquez.

Howard, Tom. "1967 & 1968 - Khe Sanh" Delta Company 1st Battalion 26th Marines. http://members.aol.com/Delta126History/Private/Delta/header_3.htm(2004) A Detailed look into some of 1/26th Marines' events during Vietnam.

Howard, Tom. "February 5th an attack on Hill 861A is defeated." Delta Company 1st Battalion 26th Marines. http://members.aol.com/Delta126History/Private/Delta/section_3. htm#February% 205th%20an%20attack%20on%20Hill%20861A%20is%20defeated(2004) A look at about the time Angel Vasquez was attacked.

"The Vietnam War and the Cold War Command Red Cross Attention". American Red Cross Museum. http://www.redcross.org/museum/history/60-79_c.asp(2004) A look into the actions of the American Red Cross during the Vietnam era.

"American Red Cross Services During The Vietnam War." American Red Cross Museum. http://www.redcross.org/museum/history/vietnam.asp (2004) A look into the services established to help military families.

"The Treasure Island Museum". THE TREASURE ISLAND MUSEUM Association. http://www.treasureislandmuseum.org/index.html (2004) A small view of the building Mrs. Torres visited.